Don't Listen to the Weatherman

The weatherman says pack an umbrella
But he should have checked with the other fella
Because it was sunny all day and hot
He said it would rain but it did not

Whenever there’s moisture in the air
And it is raining everywhere
That’s when the weatherman will say
It will be dry and sunny today

When the wind blows cold and warm
And it looks like it’s gonna storm
The weatherman says it will be eighty
Pleasantly warm and a little shady

Then the tornado touches down
It’s only inches from the ground
It tosses you up in the air
You can see it twirl up there
You shouldn’t listen to the weatherman
He can’t tell the ocean from the land
He can’t tell the wet from the dry
Don’t listen to him and that is why

Short

Being short has its advantages
But I don’t know what they are
I can’t reach my kitchen cabinet
Because it is just too far

So I keep food out in the open
And the mice get to it first
But that is not the bad part
I will tell you something worse

For as long as I remember
I’ve always wanted to teach
But I gave up the ambition
The blackboard was out of reach

I will go through life an angry and
Petite and frustrated sort
Always wishing that I were taller
Knowing I’ll always be short

The Problem with Mansion House Parking

We turned into a parking garage on Fourth Street
Looked like a good place to park
But as we descended into the bowels of the earth
It suddenly became very dark
We kept driving downward and into dead ends
Beyond which lay more parking spaces
Soon we saw people searching for exits
That they were puzzled showed on their faces
We finally parked and feeling relieved
Proceeded to pass through a nook
Got lost and came face to face with a wall
A haven for rapists and crooks
Suffice it to say we found our way
But not without effort and bother
But next time I have to pick a garage
I'll certainly choose another

Sharp, Hot, Hard, and Jagged

Things have changed since we were young
We drive plastic cars and live in plastic houses
Our children play on soft, rubber playgrounds and mulch
We eat food from unbreakable jars
Edges, asphalt and glass,
Things of the past